Thanks to the Daily Times Chronicle for publishing my most recent  Bridal Supplement article -

Brides and Grooms – 10 Things to Know About Your Wedding Ceremony
Congratulations, you’re getting married! And if you are like most brides and grooms, you’ve already begun the whirlwind that will be your engagement.  You’ve visited venues, talked to photographers and florists and videographers and entertainment specialists. You’ll discuss guest lists and gowns and wedding parties and wedding ceremonies.  And with each decision you make, questions will arise.

Among the questions brides and grooms most often ask are those that pertain to the wedding ceremony, the most important moments of the entire event. Here are the ten most frequently asked questions:

1.    Q – What do we need to do to get our marriage officially documented?

A – Couples intending to marry in Massachusetts must apply for a marriage license through a city/town clerk’s office. It is important to note that the applicants do not have to be residents of the community in which they are applying. 

No later than one week before the wedding - but preferably earlier - the parties to the marriage must appear in person at any city/ town clerk’s office with satisfactory identification to complete the application for the marriage license. Each will swear an oath under the penalties of perjury that the information they are providing is true. 

There is a three day waiting period in Massachusetts from the time the application is completed to the time you can pick it up. When you do pick it up, take a minute to read it carefully, check that all the information is correct and if necessary request corrections where required, especially on dates of birth or the spelling of names. Errors can occur quite simply – for example most individuals write their birth date as mm/dd/yyyy, but others may write their birth date as dd/mm/yyyy – putting the numbers in the wrong order could cause confusion to the individual preparing your license. Since this is a legal document it is important to ensure that it is absolutely accurate. Your license is valid for 60 days from the date of application.

 It is a good idea for your officiant to have your license prior to the wedding day so that you do not have to worry about it on the big day!  If the license cannot be provided, the ceremony cannot be conducted.  

2.    Q – What if we don’t have time to wait three days for the license?

A – In Massachusetts, under certain circumstances, a couple can go to the local Family & Probate Court to request a waiver from the three day wait. 

You must first complete the marriage license application at your local city/town clerk’s office and ask him/her to provide you with a photocopy of the application.  Leave the original at the clerk’s office.

Then, go the Family or Probate Court in the county (Middlesex, Suffolk, Bristol, etc.) in which your wedding will take place. You will need to complete a “Marriage Without Delay” form and return it to the court clerk with your photocopy of the marriage license application. (You can also find this form online by searching for “Marriage Without Delay Form MA.”) This completed paperwork will be presented to the presiding Judge, who will render a decision in a timely fashion. If your waiver request is granted, you will receive a copy of the order, which you should immediately bring to the city/town clerk where you completed the marriage license application.  The city/town clerk’s office will complete the application process and give you your marriage license as quickly as possible.

3.    Q – We are having a destination wedding outside of Massachusetts, where do we get our license?

A – Marriage license requirements for destination weddings will depend entirely on where they occur.  Within the United States or its territories, requirements are somewhat similar. Your marriage license application should be filed in the state in which you are being married. You should check with the city/town clerk in the area of your venue to learn the requirements for applying.  You may even find that your event consultant will have the information you need.

Marriage licensing requirements outside of the United States vary greatly and may require translation of documents, proof of residency or other documentation. It is important to research these requirements well in advance of your wedding date – you may find that the venue you have chosen will provide the necessary information and a local contact to help you complete the paperwork before your arrival.

Couples planning an international wedding should consider having a simple private ceremony locally prior to the time of their destination wedding.  This ensures that you will have easy and almost immediate access to your certified wedding license for purposes of documentation and identification after the wedding is over.  No one but you needs to know this and your destination wedding day can include all the ceremony you’ve dreamt of without all the hassle of paperwork in a foreign country.  It is important to let the individual performing your ceremony at the destination know that you have already officially married. You may want/need to bring a copy of your certified wedding certificate to give to the celebrant at your venue.

4.    Q – We live in Massachusetts but our wedding will be in NH?  Can a MA appointed Justice of the Peace or minister still marry us?

A – Yes, MA officially-commissioned Justices of the Peace (JoP) and ministers can request a one-time permit (for a fee) to officiate a wedding held in New Hampshire.  Unfortunately, requirements for this one-time permit prohibit those with a one-day commission (such as a relative or friend of the bridal couple) from applying for the special NH permit. The rules vary by state and you should check with your venue or the particular state’s Secretary of State Office for information regarding their requirements.

5.    Q - We don’t want a formal religious ceremony, what are our options?
A - Couples who prefer a non-religious ceremony can still have a formal wedding. A commissioned (officially appointed by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts) Justice of the Peace can officiate the wedding and help the couple prepare the wedding ceremony that they envision.  You can find a list of Justices of the Peace at http://www.mjpa.org/.  If you prefer, you can ask a friend or relative to apply for a one day commission (for a fee) to officiate at the wedding ceremony. Allow at least two months to complete this procedure and receive approval. You will find a wealth of information online to help you prepare a wedding ceremony.

6.    Q – We want a simple, short ceremony – can we do that?
A – There are only four things that must occur for a marriage to be officially certified.  The couple must request and obtain a marriage license from a local city/town clerk.  The couple must appear with that license before an officially commissioned Justice of the Peace or minister and affirm that they are free to marry and are doing so of their own free will.  The couple must express vows of commitment to each other and finally, they must be officially pronounced married by the JoP or minister.  The actual ceremony could take no more than five minutes.  Once these steps are completed, the officiant will sign the license and return it to the city/town clerk for certification.

7.    Q – Do we need to have a bridal party or witnesses for our wedding?

A – Massachusetts does not require any witnesses for a wedding ceremony to be legal.   

8.    Q – Do we need to hold a wedding rehearsal, and if so, who attends?

A – A wedding rehearsal is not a requirement.  It is helpful to the wedding party, however, to know what will be expected of everyone during the ceremony.  If the wedding venue is more than an hour away from most of the wedding party participants, it may be easier to conduct the rehearsal somewhere locally where you can approximate the wedding ceremony area at your venue – i.e. a back yard, a large living room, a local restaurant with a separate room for bigger parties. 

Anyone who will have a role in the wedding ceremony – ring bears, flower girls, ushers, bridesmaids,  readers, parents of the bride and groom, soloists, the officiant  - should participate in the rehearsal.  Allow about 30 to 45 minutes for the complete rehearsal.  At a venue, the wedding coordinator will oversee the rehearsal or may prefer the officiant to conduct the rehearsal.   During the rehearsal, the wedding party will be guided through the processional to their places for the wedding ceremony, through the actual ceremony and then through the recessional. The rehearsal is also a good time to give your wedding license and the officiant’s fee to the officiant/minister for safe keeping.
 

9.    Q – How far in advance of the wedding do we need to hire an officiant?

A – It is a good idea to contact an officiant as soon as you know your wedding date.  The earlier you hire him/her, the better likelihood he/she will be free to officiate. Also, this allows you time to meet with and get to know him/her and ensure that you’ve made the right choice.  However, JoPs are also happy and able to accommodate short term requests – a few days to a week or more – depending on circumstances and availability.   To find a Justice of the Peace near you, go to http://www.mjpa.org/

10. Q – What should we expect to pay for a ceremony officiant and how is it determined?

A - In Massachusetts, a Justice of the Peace may charge a maximum fee of $100 for his/her services at the ceremony itself, in the city or town in which the JoP resides. If the marriage ceremony takes place in any other city/town in Massachusetts, the fee is $150.  A JoP may also establish fees for activities such as consultations, added travel expenses incurred outside of the Commonwealth or rehearsals; but, he/she must disclose all costs in writing no less than 48 hours prior to the wedding.  Fees for ministers or one-day appointees may differ.

Planning your wedding will be fun, challenging, frustrating and exciting.  It is, for most couples, the first real test of their ability to work together and share responsibility. Take advantage of the many resources available to you as you plan and prepare and ask all the questions you need to, to ensure that your wedding day will be everything you imagine.